Last month I had unexpected surgery and was home recovering for a few weeks. Lots of friends and family checked in on me and asked how I was doing. My response was almost always the same: “The doctor says I’m recovering wonderfully, but I’m not healing as fast as I want.” This was usually followed by a few chuckles, as people told me they completely understood.
And then today it hit me. How often have I told God that same statement, not regarding my physical healing, but in reference to my own recovery journey? How often have I screamed at God that He wasn’t healing me, my marriage, or my husband fast enough?
“God says I’m recovering wonderfully, I’m right where He wants me to be, I’m doing exactly what He’s asked of me…but it’s simply not good enough for me.”
Ouch. For the record, I detest my horrible pride and I am NEVER comfortable with the revelations God gives me, because usually the problem is always me. I tend to get in the way of me. And if I would only get out of my way, then God can grow and bless me far beyond what I think I actually want.
This past week I was immensely blessed to hear a sweet friend share her testimony. She has an amazing story of pain, hurt, stubbornness, salvation, grace, redemption, and reconciliation. God’s hands and work are so evident in her life, and she continually overflows with the sheer joy He has brought her. Her entire testimony is amazing, but the one point she shared that stuck with me the most was when she said: “If I’m not working on my recovery, then I’m working on my relapse.”
That simple statement hit me pretty hard. What is it that I’m actually working on right now? Am I moving backwards? Am I stagnant? Or am I moving forward?
I find immense comfort in Paul’s writing in Philippians 1:6 (NLT), “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” As long as I’m clinging to my precious Jesus, as long as I’m daily (and sometimes hourly!) surrendering myself to Him, He is continuing to work on me. And the most exciting part of this verse for me is that He WILL continue to work on me until that glorious day when my sinful nature is no more.
All praise and glory to my Jesus!!
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Philippians 2:13 (NLT)
~joyfully broken
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