Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off; it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another; it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.
To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective; it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To “let go” is not to regret the past, but grow and live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less and love more.

Dear God, I have tried to do it all by myself, on my own powers, and I have failed. Today, I want to turn my life over to You. I ask You to be my Lord and my Savior. You are the One and only Higher Power! I ask that You help me start to think less about me and my will. I want to daily turn my will over to You, to daily seek Your direction and wisdom for my life. Please continue to help me overcome my hurts, habits, and hang-ups and may that victory over them help others as they see Your power at work in changing my life. Help me to do Your will always. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
(taken from Celebrate Recovery's Principle 3 Prayer)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5,6

~joyfully broken

It's been awhile

It’s been some time since I’ve been on here; life has been crazy busy the past few months.

To give you a brief update, we met with our senior pastor and shared our story. Not only was he supportive and grace-filled, but he was ecstatic about the idea of starting an SSA ministry at our church. We initially just wanted to give him more information about the topic, so he and the church leadership could be better informed about how to address the issue. But our pastor took it a step further and said that more needs to be done to help any and all who are broken. He essentially told us to do whatever needed to be done and to get it started…we had his full and complete support.

I think we’re still in shock over how accepting our pastor was. I’ve spoken with other people whose lives have been affected by SSA and they have commented how envious they are about the church we attend. It’s sad that a church that loves and cares for others as Jesus did is a rarity in our culture. My prayer is that our church, and whatever ministry God allows us to begin, will be a motivator for other churches to get on board.

The past few weeks I’ve been praying about beginning another 12-Step Study. I’ve wanted to go through another study for some time now, and I especially wanted to find myself a new sponsor. In choosing a sponsor, you’re supposed to look for someone who is living out their recovery in a way that you want to model. Someone who’s working the steps and her life shows evidence of God’s healing. There are two ladies who God has laid on my heart to possibly ask…but asking means I’m going to have to get serious about working my recovery. Despite how much I want to do it, it’s still intimidating and I’ve been struggling with taking the necessary steps to talk to these women.

And then apparently God got tired of waiting on me.

This past Tuesday, I was approached by these same two women. They informed me a new Step Study was beginning and they wanted me to co-lead the group with one of them. I was blessed that I would be considered. I told them I was hesitant to do so because I never “officially” finished my last study because of issues with my previous sponsor. In essence, I never finished and shared my inventory with someone else. The two ladies looked at me, then at each, and then asked what the problem was because they were both available and would love to help.

Sometimes God’s direction is so evident that it’s almost embarrassing!

But this now means I have three weeks to finish my inventory and share it with one of the ladies. Three weeks to process all of the hurts, habits, and hang-ups. To bring to the surface all of those people who’ve hurt me. To admit and take responsibility for all of the people who I’ve hurt. I’ve got some very hard work in store for me. There's a reason I've been putting off this task...it's HARD WORK! I’m praying for discipline right now, because I know the enemy is going to do whatever he can to distract me from accomplishing this task that has been hanging over my head for the past year and a half. I would appreciate your prayers.

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3: 19-23

~joyfully broken