It's been awhile

It’s been some time since I’ve been on here; life has been crazy busy the past few months.

To give you a brief update, we met with our senior pastor and shared our story. Not only was he supportive and grace-filled, but he was ecstatic about the idea of starting an SSA ministry at our church. We initially just wanted to give him more information about the topic, so he and the church leadership could be better informed about how to address the issue. But our pastor took it a step further and said that more needs to be done to help any and all who are broken. He essentially told us to do whatever needed to be done and to get it started…we had his full and complete support.

I think we’re still in shock over how accepting our pastor was. I’ve spoken with other people whose lives have been affected by SSA and they have commented how envious they are about the church we attend. It’s sad that a church that loves and cares for others as Jesus did is a rarity in our culture. My prayer is that our church, and whatever ministry God allows us to begin, will be a motivator for other churches to get on board.

The past few weeks I’ve been praying about beginning another 12-Step Study. I’ve wanted to go through another study for some time now, and I especially wanted to find myself a new sponsor. In choosing a sponsor, you’re supposed to look for someone who is living out their recovery in a way that you want to model. Someone who’s working the steps and her life shows evidence of God’s healing. There are two ladies who God has laid on my heart to possibly ask…but asking means I’m going to have to get serious about working my recovery. Despite how much I want to do it, it’s still intimidating and I’ve been struggling with taking the necessary steps to talk to these women.

And then apparently God got tired of waiting on me.

This past Tuesday, I was approached by these same two women. They informed me a new Step Study was beginning and they wanted me to co-lead the group with one of them. I was blessed that I would be considered. I told them I was hesitant to do so because I never “officially” finished my last study because of issues with my previous sponsor. In essence, I never finished and shared my inventory with someone else. The two ladies looked at me, then at each, and then asked what the problem was because they were both available and would love to help.

Sometimes God’s direction is so evident that it’s almost embarrassing!

But this now means I have three weeks to finish my inventory and share it with one of the ladies. Three weeks to process all of the hurts, habits, and hang-ups. To bring to the surface all of those people who’ve hurt me. To admit and take responsibility for all of the people who I’ve hurt. I’ve got some very hard work in store for me. There's a reason I've been putting off this task...it's HARD WORK! I’m praying for discipline right now, because I know the enemy is going to do whatever he can to distract me from accomplishing this task that has been hanging over my head for the past year and a half. I would appreciate your prayers.

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3: 19-23

~joyfully broken